And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i drank out of a bidet.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
