"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
