Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
