I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You're like the curious george of whores
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
