We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
