I need to stop coming to work sober
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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