the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
