I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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