That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
