i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
