she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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