Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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