This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Terrible idea I love it
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
false alarm, still single
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