Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
