you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
50% drunk capacity currently
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
