I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
