So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
