Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
