Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
