So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
