i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Randomize
