when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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