Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
