you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
