Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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