just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
