Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
