youre lurking in front of me
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
