I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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