He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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