its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
