i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
