I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
