I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You're like the curious george of whores
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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