You made me cry and you don't even care
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
