Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he thought i was a dude.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
