Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
