it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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