i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
