You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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