mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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