Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
