I must be too annoying 4 u.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
