I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
this boner is exhausting
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
