I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
