Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
