Are we in a gay sports bar?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
