You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
