I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
