I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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