I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
