A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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