i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
