No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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